In This Issue
‘Do You Have Any History of Multiple Births?'
Infant triplets prove to be ‘happy detour' on academic road for history PhD student
BY TERESA PITMAN
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What a difference a year makes. Last June, history PhD student Josh MacFadyen celebrated Father's Day as a dad of one son, Cameron, now 2. This year, he'll mark the day with a houseful, thanks to the arrival of identical triplets Kenya, Siena and Tori. Photo by Martin Schwalbe |
Josh MacFadyen, a PhD candidate in the Department of History, was sitting outside the X-ray room while his wife, Colleen, was in having an ultrasound exam. She wasn't even eight weeks along in her second pregnancy, but her doctor had wanted to check on things because she seemed to be growing more quickly than expected. When Josh was called in, the technician's first question took him by surprise: “Do you have any history of multiple births in your family?”
Now there's a question that should raise a red flag for any expectant parent.
To Josh's innocent reply of: “No, why?” the technician responded: “Because you're having triplets.”
There on the screen of the ultrasound machine, the startled couple could see three distinct beating hearts.
“We were screaming and laughing and absolutely shocked,” says Josh.
Not just triplets — but identical triplet girls who were born at McMaster Children's Hospital in Hamilton Dec. 10 after 32 weeks of gestation. And although the parents can point out some small differences, Kenya, Siena and Tori really do look amazingly alike.
“We even have a hard time telling them apart,” admits Josh. “We've painted the toenail on each of their big toes different colours so we know who's who, and they have ankle bracelets with their names on that they wear most of the time.”
When they take photos of the girls, they always line them up in the same order. “That way, we'll know which is which when we look at the photos 10 years later,” he says.
So what's life like for a graduate student with three five-month-old babies plus an exuberant two-year- old son, Cameron?
“I've always believed that kids don't need to slow you down and that academics can combine family life with their work,” Josh says a bit sheepishly. “In fact, I used to boast that I could hold Cameron in one arm and vacuum and read a book all at the same time.”
That boasting ended once the triplets arrived. With three, he can't even hold all his daughters at the same time, let alone throw in a few household chores or a little studying. In fact, he calculates that in the early days, just feeding the three girls took the couple a total of nine or 10 hours a day. They also changed more than 25 diapers a day at first. And yet he's still working towards his PhD and says he's in his final year.
The secret? “Help. We have lots of helpers — dozens, maybe even over a hundred.”
Most are friends or members of their church. Family members have also come to help out, and both grandmothers have stayed for weeks at a time.
“They bring us meals, help with feedings, play with Cameron,” says Josh. “I don't know how we would have survived without everyone helping us.”
On days when someone isn't staying over to lend a hand, his day goes like this: It starts with a wake-up call from Cameron, who's usually ready to start his day by 6:30 or 7 a.m. (Colleen handles the triplets' first feeding of the day at 4 a.m.) By 8 a.m., the girls are up again, and Josh and Colleen prepare breakfast for everyone.
“Usually the girls will sleep for one or two hours at that point, and I can do a little work then,” says Josh. “I manage short spurts of work interrupted by feedings and various childhood calamities.”
On days when they have a helper or two in the house, he'll head over to U of G for a meeting or spend some time in the library or café working on his thesis, which looks at the history of flax in the fibre and linseed oil commodity chains in North America. He jokes that his next research project will be a demographic study of Victorian families with twins and triplets.
“Usually I'm able to get at least three solid days of work in each week,” he says. “On the other days, I just do what I can. I don't consider the triplets a roadblock to my academic work. They're more like a detour, but a happy detour.”
Although he's still forging ahead on his thesis, Josh says he's noticed that having triplets has affected his life in another way: he's become a homebody.
“We used to be out visiting friends almost every night before we had children. And even when Cameron came along, it was easy to bring him with us because he was good at sleeping in the portable playpen. But now, we're not interested in even trying to leave the house. We go out maybe once a week with the whole crew for an appointment, but it's just too much effort the rest of the time.”
Having said that, Josh adds that for Father's Day this year, he's attempting the “Mount Everest climb of parenting.” He and Colleen will be packing all four children into their minivan and driving east to visit his family in Prince Edward Island. The plan is to drive through the night so the babies will sleep through much of the 18-hour trip.
“I know that sounds contradictory when I said we don't go out much, but this is a big one-time thing,” he says.
The MacFadyens plan to spend two months on the island visiting with family and enjoying the beaches and scenery with their children.
“We're very blessed,” says Josh. “We've got to be the happiest, luckiest people on Earth. We just love our girls so much — they're healthy and good-tempered and beautiful, and we've got three of them! Not to mention Cameron, who's also wonderful. He already adores his sisters, loves to entertain them and is always gentle with them. And with all this going on, I've still been able to stay in the PhD program. It's been great, and we're having the time of our lives.”